It’s amazing how many people expect those responses, whenever they ask the perfunctory “How are you?”
It’s confusing to me why I am unable to truthfully say them.
Almost every news story about a child or an athlete who has/has had a serious illness describes how upbeat they are. Positive Mental Attitude (remember that phrase?) Perky. Cheerful.
I’m not there. I don’t know why I’m not, but I’m not. And I can pretend all you want, but my spirit – aided by antidepressants – apparently never will be, again. The pretending is exhausting. Sometimes, I know I am not convincing. I also know that that pisses some of you off.
All I can do is apologize for annoying you. I will continue to pretend, as strength allows. And if you can cut me some slack, when it doesn’t, that would be wonderful. If you can’t, maybe we should have a conversation about whose problem this really is.